Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Sierra talks - sort of



Sierra had a sit-down chat with Julia Simpson, the female counselor Dr. Bill appointed.  Ms. Simpson has a bachelor's degree in child and adolescent psych, and Dr. Bill thought a woman might be better able to relate to our daughter.  It was difficult for us to acknowledge that Sierra has serious issues, needs professional help, and frankly, time away from society.  It was hard for us to realize that she was becoming a dangerous person, both to herself and to others.  She was doing things that made us shake our heads.

Our daughter was on the verge of psychosis.  How did this happen?



"Good morning, Sierra," Julia said in a sweet voice.  Her dark hair was pulled back in a neat bun.
When Sierra replied, she had already said more to her than she ever said to Dr. Bill. 
"The way the Dr. described you, I expected a big, strong, tough person.  Instead I see a tall, athletically built young blonde girl with an angelic looking face and huge blue eyes.
"Now, I've read your record, Sierra, you've got quite a rap sheet, arrests for breaking and entering, malicious destruction of property, curfew violations, truancy, assault, and you added to it in the past few days, that's why we were called in.


"Just in the past few days, Sierra, you were caught sleeping in a sleeping bag outside of a movie theater and again in the aisle of a crowded bowling alley.  You were caught on two separate occasions using the men's bathroom in your dormitory.  You had a disastrous outing with a young man that ended with a fight at a campus nightclub.  You were arrested for spraying graffiti on the wall of a building on campus.
"Your record is extensive, Sierra.  You started skipping school at age seven.  At nine, you were suspended from school for letting the frogs loose from your science class and they ended up all over school.  There are suspensions for fighting, constant pranks, and talking back to the teachers.  The day after your thirteenth birthday, you were arrested for malicious destruction of property, throwing eggs at the door of an elderly couple's house and causing six thousand simoleans worth of damage to their swimming pool.  Your older brother ended up in the hospital because he was so upset with you that he passed out while disciplining you.  You were sentenced to Fort Starch for a beating that was so vicious you put its victim in the hospital.  Your parents paid his medical bills.  On top of that, the video of the beating was posted on the internet.  Why did you beat this young man, Sierra?" 


"He said I was 'butch' and called me a 'dyke.'"
"So you beat this young man senseless because he called you a name."
"Yeah.  I got back at him and called him ugly and fat.  I was so mad, I blacked out."
"You blacked out."
"Yeah."
"According to the court records, you told the judge the beating 'felt good.'   Sierra, 'blacking out' is serious.  It means you do things without thinking of the consequences.  They're impulsive, spur of the moment.  There's really no justification for you doing that to that young man.  As I understand it, you came out to your parents the night of your senior prom.  You told them that you had been seeing a girl in your class. When you went to Fort Starch, you were forced to stop seeing her."
"Yeah."
"How did that make you feel, being forced to stop seeing her?"
"Bad."
"I bet.  You miss her, don't you?"
"Yeah."
"But your behavior caused you to be forced to stop seeing her.  Do you understand that, Sierra?"
"I -- I think so."
"Do you have any hobbies, Sierra?  Any things you like to do?"
Sierra took awhile before answering.  "I like to play sports and work out."
"Makes sense.  Your father was a pro footballer."
She got excited when she was talking about her interests.  "I like playing chess on the computer, making potions with my chemistry set --"
"You make potions?"
"Yeah.  One time I made this stink juice potion and I put it all over the school."
Julia shook her head.  "Sierra."
"It was fun watching everybody squirm."
"You take pleasure in harming people, am I correct?"
Sierra hesitated.  "I -- I think so.  I wasn't going to kill anybody, I just wanted to scare them a little bit."
"You only have one friend, Sierra, am I correct?"
Sierra nodded her head yes.
"How long have you known this friend?"
"Since we were little.  Our dads played on the soccer team."
"You're not a very social girl, and from what I understand, you prefer being by yourself."
"Yeah."
"What else do you like to do, Sierra?"
"I like to read."
"What kinds of books do you read?"
"Science fiction, mostly."
"Science fiction?"
"Yeah --"  Suddenly Sierra became more animated.  Before she'd mostly given Ms. Simpson one-word answers to questions.  "When I was twelve, I was abducted by aliens."
"Abducted -- by aliens?"


 "Yeah.  It happened in our back yard.  It was a warm, humid summer evening.  I had come from the summer festival and from kicking this one boy's butt in soccer, and I went back home.  Suddenly I heard a noise and I went outside to investigate.


 "I looked up, sure enough, it was a spaceship.


"I tried to run, I tried to escape, but the force field from the light beam was too strong, and I was sucked up."


"When I got off the ship, I found myself in this fantastical alternate universe.  I had never quite seen anything like it. 



 "I was starved, and they brought me my favorite food, which was a cheese steak sandwich.  I hadn't had a cheese steak in forever.




"While I was there I met these two boys my age named Jackson and Dmitri.  We talked about sports a lot and also about where we were.  We instantly clicked and became friends.  I felt like I was somewhere I belonged.

 

"The next morning I woke up and decided to go to the robot competition arena, where bots were fighting to the short circuit.  It was awesome.  I loved seeing the sparks flying.  I decided, right then and there, that I wanted one of my own."


 "When I got back home, only about an hour had passed in the regular realm, but I had been in this alternate universe at least a couple days.


"I tried to get back to my regular life, going fishing...


...and exploring the catacombs in the cemetery at night.


"I even encountered a zombie or two.  They were a big snore, not scary at all, just standing there moaning and groaning."


"I did everything in my power to communicate with Jackson and Dmitri but to no avail.  I tried to devise a potion to send myself to that world on demand, but was unsuccessful and kept burning myself.

"I found that everyday life bored me.  For the next few years I began to dream myself back to that world, to try to re-envision it like I had seen before."

 
"Sierra, have you thought about journaling?"
Sierra gave Ms. Simpson a puzzled look.  "Journaling?"
"Yeah, writing down your thoughts and feelings.  And especially writing about that fantastical experience you had. I'm saying, for the sake of argument, that it happened. It's clear to me that this experience has affected your entire being.  It's affected how you look at the world, how you live life.   Perhaps writing about it could help you deal with it.   I'm going to give you an assignment.  I want to you write down some of your experiences in that futuristic world of yours, and bring it back when you come to the office. 

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